10 Ways to Tell if Someone is Lying to You
Whether
you’re trying to figure out if your boyfriend is a big fat liar or if
your roomie did in fact drunk eat all your Jimmy John’s last night,
don’t worry ladies, we got your back. Turns out, there are more than a
few ways to tell when someone’s fibbing to your face. Use these
tried-and-true tips, courtesy of body language expert for
CupidsPulse.com, Jared Sais, to call them out on it next time!
1. Changes in pitch or tone
It’s all in the voice! Next time you think someone is lying, listen
very closely to the sound of his or her voice. While it’s not always the
easiest thing to detect, any change in pitch (higher than normal) or
tone (lower than normal) indicates you might have a fibber on your
hands. Pay attention to the speed at which they talk too. You wouldn’t
want anyone to pull a fast one on you (literally), would you?
2. Hiding behind the hands
You know how people will put their hands over their mouth after they
accidently blurt something out? Well, liars might touch or shield their
face with their hands, as though they’re attempting to hide behind their
lies or legit stop them from spilling out. Watch out for any nose
scratching or ear pulling as well, both signs of potential liars.
3. Excessive lip licking
Unless you catch your roomie right after the Jimmy John’s incident (in
which case, she might still be licking her lips!), this can be seen as a
sign of deceit. Lying puts a lot of stress on the body, and a major
symptom of high stress is a dry mouth. Hence why liars will lick their
lips more than usual.
4. Shoulder shrugs mid-speech
A regular shoulder shrug means, “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure.” So if
someone shrugs their shoulder while they’re talking, it means they
don’t agree with the words that are coming out of their own mouth. Take
John Edwards, for example – when he told the world he didn’t have an
affair, his shoulder flew up, signifying he wasn’t being honest.
5. Lack of hand gestures
Just as someone hiding behind their hands is a marker of deception, if
someone suddenly stops using their hands to speak or becomes really
stiff, it’s a surefire sign that they’re extremely uncomfortable. They
may also grasp their hands together, in an attempt to protect something,
usually their story or their guilt.
6. Speaking in a measured way
No surprise here! People who lie typically try to memorize their story.
In doing so, this causes them to speak in a beat or like they’re
reading straight off a script. Don’t fall for it, even if their
performance is totally Oscar worthy.
7. Sweat and more sweat
Anyone who’s ever watched an interrogation on TV will notice how the
guilty frequently break out in a sweat or are seen wiping sweat from
their foreheads. This is because sweat is a natural stress response. And
clearly when you lie, it’s stressful.
8. Prolonged eye contact.
Believe it or not, great liars will actually look into your eyes longer
than usual to make sure that you're buying their lie. Prolonged eye
contact is just as telling as no eye contact at all.
9. Gestural retreat
Keep an eye on those legs! No, seriously. Oftentimes, people who aren’t
telling the whole truth (and nothing but the truth) will literally take
a step back as they say something or right after the fact. For example,
President Nixon was guilty of this when giving speeches.
10. Defensive body position
Last but not least, if someone is lying, they might try to close
themselves off by using a purse or book to shield themselves or folding
their arms across their chest. They also want to appear as small as
possible so they don't make a scene or have to answer any follow-up
questions.
Nail biter? Have a hard time turning down sweets? Have a problem with
procrastination? Or worse? It's okay, we've all got a habit that we'd
like to ditch. The problem is that human beings are prone to create
routines. According to the National Institute for Health, routines help
us go on autopilot so we can focus our mental energy on other tasks.
Despite our brains' best intentions, our routines can backfire. Is there
a way around it? Read these tips to break a bad habit that threatens
your well-being and happiness.
Don't Pull the Trigger
When it comes to bad habits, like knuckle cracking, there's usually a
trigger emotion or situation that causes it. Many negative habits come
from stress, uncertainty or fear. Once you analyze what your trigger is
for bad behavior, you can start on the road to eradicating it. How?
Create a journal of the feelings and circumstances that surround
specific incidents. You don't have to do it indefinitely. Try it for a
week or two. Read what you've written about your habitual problem and
take a mental note of the triggers that cause it. The next time a
trigger situation pops up, you can employ methods to change your ways.
Replace the Habit
Using a replacement behavior is one way to stop an offending habit.
Pick something that's less damaging than the habit you're used to. In
this way, you start to create a new routine. Read on for a couple of
classic ways to replace.
Breathe, Meditate
Heidi Hanna, a Ph.D. and performance coach, says that deep breathing
brings positive endorphins to the brain and helps relieve stress. It
also helps your muscles relax and can reduce inflammation. In other
words, it helps remove tension in the moment. Meditation, which involves
deep breathing, can help too. To meditate, focus on a singular thought
or positive vision to draw your thoughts away from your urge to engage
in the habit.
Use A Rubber
According to Susan Jaffe, MD, New York City-based psychiatrist, an
effective trick of the book is to leave a rubber band around your wrist.
Snap it in place when you're about to commit your boo boo. The snapping
sensation, which is uncomfortable, can retrain your mind to associate
negativity with your habit. Just don't snap too hard! You want a moment
of discomfort, not to inflict pain on yourself.
Sweet Rewards
Using a reward is actually a method that works for me time and again,
especially with procrastination. Something a dear cousin taught me when
she's also itching to avoid work is to use whatever behavior she'd
rather be doing as a future reward. For example, if you have a tendency
to hit up theFashionSpot before you do your chores (right?), let the
site be your reward after your work is finished. I've found this helps
me keep perspective on my goals and priorities, as in what I want to do
right
now, can also be done later, and more enjoyably, after the job is done.
Above the Influence
Not only are humans creatures of habit, we're creatures of imitation
too. What we find ourselves surrounded with, is what we find ourselves
doing and thinking about. If you'd like to cut back on your weekly
intake of cocktails, for example, take a break from the friend who
invites you out for happy hour every other day. This doesn't mean
sacrificing your friendship. A little time away could be what you need
to gather your personal resolve. The next time you hit up your favorite
watering hole, try ordering a non-alcoholic beverage before your friend
meets you. You don't even have to mention that your drink is a
"virgin." Conversely, seek out situations that reinforce positive
behavior. Maybe it's time to reconnect with your gal pal whose favorite
post-work activity is yoga.
Get Inspired
One of the best ways to find your inner strength is to be influenced by
positive role models. I'm a major fan of inspirational quotes (that I
keep near me always on my Pinterest boards and computer desktop). Need
some reading? Consider a biography of a successful individual, the book
will detail a person who persisted even in the face of uncertainty. This
is one way to use our imitation tendency to great effect.
Practice Can Make Perfect
Finally, when you find yourself reaching for that extra cup of coffee
or chocolate cupcake, remind yourself of this simple fact: we can
retrain ourselves to break any habit. Science has proven it. Dr. Roy
Baumeister, a psychologist at Florida State University, likens our
willpower to a muscle. When you work it out it gets tired and sore but
over time the muscle gets stronger and better than it was before. That's
how you can think of your ability to control your habits.
Persistence and practice will pay off.
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