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Monday, 27 May 2013

What Your Facebook Status Update Really Means: The Single Girl vs. Married Mom


Image: TNYF/WENN.com
Image: TNYF/WENN.com
You've had a rough week: you didn't get the promotion you wanted, you just changed your relationship status to "single" and your cat is sick. And to make matters worse, your Facebook feed is filled with photos of your friends on exotic vacations, showing off engagement rings and landing glamorous new jobs. Hm. So how do you stop yourself from being jealous of others and put an end to your chronic dissatisfaction? Simple, by deciphering their Facebook statuses to see what they are really trying to say. Before you know it, you’ll be feeling better in no time.

The Single City Girl

Status: Sat on my balcony soaking up the view.
Truth: I’m on minimum wage in one of the world’s most expensive cities, so balcony actually means fire escape facing the alley and an apartment the size of a shoe box.
Status: Choices, choices, choices, where shall I dine out tonight?
Truth: Probably cheap Chinese takeout (again) or somewhere that accepts coupons.
Status: Off on another date tonight — too many hot guys, too little time!
Truth: There are too many single guys and too many girls in this city, so nobody wants a relationship. I’m sick of dating!
Status: OMG, did Harry Styles really just stroll into my office?!
Truth: Yes, and I wasn’t allowed within a million feet of him… Except to make his security team some coffee.
Status: Love free business lunches!
Truth: I have to work from 9 a.m. until late with no overtime pay, and I never take a lunch break… So, the one-off paid lunch is a miracle!

The Married Mom

Status: Finally finished decorating our own dream home #HappyEverAfter.
Truth: The mortgage is crippling us, and I give it two days max before one of the kids scribbles all over the walls.
Status: Fine dining with my other half — got the babysitter in.
Truth: We have one date night per month and we’re spending it at pizza and a movie. The Ritz is on hold until the mortgage is paid and the kids are thirty!
Status: Three little angels and another one on the way #Blessed.
Truth: I’m exhausted. He’s always at work. I need a vacation — alone!
Status: Extended family holiday booked, so excited!
Truth: I really need a break, and now I have to spend it being nice to the mother-in-law from hell.
Status: While the kids are away, Mommy and Daddy can play.
Truth: We're too exhausted for sex, so we’re spending the night watching TV.

#thefashionspot.com

How to Deal with Life’s Unexpected Changes Without Losing It

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt
"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on the old but on building the new." — Socrates
Life has a way of throwing things at us we never expect, doesn't it? Not all bad, life changes can encompass a healthy raise, along with the anxiety of performing well in a new postion. Change can come in the form of an engagement that requires us to move across country, away from family and friends, to start a new adventure. Often change has the ability to create anxiety and depression, even as it creates promise for future joy and happiness. Want to know the secret to triumphing over the negative without losing it? There isn't one. But there are several ways you can learn to cope with change that will, over time, help you worry less and allow those circumstances that sneak up on you to roll off your back.

Become Educated About Transition

According to Psychology Today, part of dealing with transitions is knowing how they work, and what you can expect in the process. For many, the problem with change originates from the basic human fear of the unknown. Turning that into something you can work through by anticipating how it will feel (and recognizing it) can help. There are three stages to the transition process. The first is resisting and reacting, which usually involves fear and discomfort, followed by adjusting and exploring, and then "living well in the New Old or the Old New." The third stage is one we hardly notice because we're no longer upset about the initial change that brought it on. But if you can recognize you're there, a self-congratulatory pat on the back will help you cope with future change and work as a reminder that you'll get through it. Read the full article here.

Focus on the Bigger Picture

I'll be the first one to admit that some of these concepts sound cheesy at first, but I'll also be the first one to say they're legit and have helped me through my own transitions. It's easy to be so caught up in what's happening right now, we lose sight of the fact that life really is a journey, filled with ups and downs over years of experience. Remind yourself that this is one of many changes that will happen in your lifetime and that not one of them signals a final destination, but a chapter in the novel of your life. Specifically, focus on how this change will likely project you forward. Positive forward thinking can take us out of the anxiety-filled moment and into more positive headspace.

Act Decisively

The American Psychological Association (APA) suggests that one way to become resilient in the face of change is to act decisively. Loss of control is one of the fear-inducing factors during a period of change. Making a decision and acting on it will help combat the feeling of being out of control. Your action doesn't have to directly relate to your change. Implementing a new workout regimen can be one of the decisive things that makes you feel like you're back in the driver's seat, as can starting a new hobby or pulling the trigger on a home improvement project you've been contemplating for a while.

Project Into the Future

For a change that you've implemented, but that still gives you the heebie-jeebies, place yourself mentally into that third stage of living well. Imagine the best outcome possible and then place yourself in it. Or simply imagine how it's going to feel when the transition is complete. For example, you've got a move to a new neighborhood and are worried you'll be lonely. Imagine yourself already comfortable in your new digs, meeting new friends for drinks you picked up at yoga or a local cooking class.

Create Your Own Silver Linings Playbook

Positive thinking goes a long way to getting out of a tough spot. This tool works well for change that you didn't actively bring about. Sit down and write down what you have to be thankful for. Look at this list every time you feel anxiety relating to your transitional phase. It works. Trust.

Breathe

Yogis and other spiritual advisors have long been touting the positive effects of taking deep breaths. When the hammer comes down and you first realize the wind is going to start blowing in a different direction (or already has), take a minute to clear your mind and breathe deeply. Use this trick whenever you feel the pull of a lack of surety weighing you down.

Get Out of the River Denial

You really can't move forward until you've dealt with what's happening presently in a real way. Self-denial can mean the difference between the agonizing pain of pulling a Band-Aid off slowly, and the quick ouch that comes from getting it off all at once. Take that deep breath, admit to yourself what's happening, and then decide to move onward and upward from it, or make the very best of it.

Enjoy the Present

This is often easier said than done, but being aware of fresh air, literally stopping to smell a rose, or enjoying a pleasure as simple as a hot shower or cold glass of water can take you out of your worrying and create joy in the moment. The more joy, pleasure and satisfaction you can create in individual moments, the happier you'll be collectively, and the readier you'll be to take on your changes with aplomb.

#thefashionspot.com

5 Sex Mistakes Women Make

 
5 Mistakes (and How to Avoid Them)
That’s far from the only sex myth women believe, Cox says.

And myths like that can lead to big mistakes and misunderstandings in the bedroom.

Cox reveals five common nookie no-nos that can sabotage your love life, and tells you how to steer clear of them.

Sex Mistake #1: Assuming he’s always up for sex
This might hold true for teenage boys, but not necessarily for men.

Once males hit their mid-20s, a whole lot of things are competing for their energy. Pressures of work, bills and everyday life can put a major damper on his libido.

“He’s not like a vibrator,” as Cox puts it. “You can’t just plug him in and expect him to perform on cue.”

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t desire you anymore. 
 
He just truly may not be in the mood.

Sex Mistake #2: Thinking sex ends when he climaxes
Just because he’s been fulfilled doesn’t mean you’ve been.

Let him know you’re not done yet; help him find other ways to finish the job using his hands or mouth.

If he’s consistently too wiped out to give you the attention you deserve, plan to have your needs met before his next time.

Sex Mistake #3: Obsessing about your body
So the numbers on the scale aren’t what you’d like them to be.

Putting on weight is no excuse for avoiding sex. Or maybe you’re fine with your weight but there’s some other figure flaw you’re fixating on.  
 
Guess what? If he wants to have sex with you, he thinks you’re sexy.

If your self-image is hindering your sex life, consult a therapist, join a support group or read a self-help book.

Sex Mistake #4: Not giving him any guidance
Pleasing a woman is no easy task.

So help him out!

Give him explicit directions – when, where, how hard, how fast, and more.

If you’re too embarrassed to cue him verbally, find another way.

For example, if you’re watching a sex scene in a movie, say something like, “That’s a good move” or “That doesn’t do it for me.”  
 
Or bookmark pages in a sex book and ask him to read them. Or let out a moan when he does something that pleases you.

Because when it comes to sex, communication is key.

Sex Mistake #5: Overreacting when he suggests something new
Most of us do the same thing day in and day out. And whether it’s in the bedroom or the boardroom, routine can get boring.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spice up your love life.

Men like looking at, trying out and experimenting with new things; there’s nothing sinister about it.

Suggesting something new is not an implied criticism of you. It’s just a simple craving for variety.

The best part is that he wants to try it with you. 
 
#www.lifescript.com
 

How To Spot Relationship Warning Signs



All relationships go through that wonderful honeymoon phase, but what happens after good graces have faded? Many relationships continue down that path of happiness, however, some couples’ bliss turns sour as they get to know each other on a more intimate level. Below are some relationship red flags to be wary of which will help you determine if it is time to end your relationship and move on with your life.

Downfall of a Mama’s Boy
You may have been attracted to the fact he prides himself on being a family man, and why wouldn’t you? However, when he is at his mom’s every weekend (or maybe even still lives there), then you may find that three’s a crowd.

Many men struggle to move on from the nest, because they prefer not having the hassle of laundry and cooking. If your man happens to be the youngest in his family, chances are mom has no desire to let go of him. After all, why should he leave home until he is in a serious relationship? Unfortunately, it can be difficult to be the woman attempting to woo him away. If he is working full time and saving for a big endeavor such as purchasing his own home, then living with the parents may be acceptable. However, if he is bumming around on the couch all day and mama just bought him a Playstation to go with her big screen TV in the living room, then it may be time to say bye-bye to baby boy. 

Sometimes a meddling mother can be an issue as well, especially if your guy is not attempting to deal with the situation. Some mothers just won’t let go, and want to know every intimate detail of their son’s dating life.

Prevent this from happening to you by asking about his living situation on the first date. Make it clear you are an independent woman and don’t want to play mother to anyone. Not sure if your guy is being honest about his circumstances? If he never invites you over, that may be a warning sign that he is still comfy in the nest. Dating a family guy is a great thing, but don’t let that swoon you too quickly. Some guys are ready to start their own, while others are perfectly content to stay where they are.

Dangerous Warning Signs of Relationship Issues
A hot tempered man can be admirable when he is defending your honor, but a relationship with a man who has a short fuse can be dangerous. Abusive relationships are never worth staying in, however, unfortunately many women do not recognize – or ignore – the early warning signs in a relationship.

If your guy wants to know of your whereabouts at all times, his jealousy might be something in danger of spiraling out of control. It’s sweet when your boyfriend is thinking about and wanting to be with you, however, it is unacceptable for him to expect you to punch a time clock with him.

Be wary of such possessive behavior, and don’t be afraid to ask others of their opinions. If your friends have not met him yet even though you’ve been dating for several months, this is another warning sign. Abusive relationships often start with a fair bit of antisocial behavior.

Never stay in an abusive situation. Your life is too valuable, and somewhere out there is a decent man who will treat you right.

Ending Warning Signs In Relationships
Sometimes, a warning sign you notice in a relationship has nothing to do with abuse or neediness, but rather quite the opposite as your significant other begins to “phase out” of the couple, wanting to move on to other things. While a lot of breakups are mutual and drama-free, there are some that get very ugly before reaching a conclusion.

It is important to show respect for each other when you are dating, however, when things get difficult, many couples forget this level of courtesy for one another. There are a few warning signs that a relationship is about to end – or at least one of the halves is less than thrilled to be taking part.

Withdrawal and avoidance from activities you once enjoyed can be a first red flag. If your partner is simply unwilling to spend time with you like he once did, then you may begin to suspect he has either moved on or is seeing someone else. This can be a hurtful assumption, so be sure to have a basis for your accusation before making it, but know avoidance can definitely be the beginning of the end. 

Many men do not want to spend a lot of time talking about their emotions, and when a relationship is turning sour, you will find they are making such a minimal effort it is as if they have already left. They may put off conversations or do their best to prevent them because in their minds they may already be planning a breakup.

If your partner is putting you down, this can be another sign of a waning relationship. Responding negatively toward you is a hurtful tactic sometimes used to push a significant other away when they are no longer wanted. It may, in your guy’s mind, be easier for him to hold you at a distance through causing the blame to fall on his shoulders than it is for him to outright say what he is feeling.

Many men have difficulty expressing their feelings, and being cruel is one solution. Treating your passions as stupid, making fun of the way you look, or not allowing you to complete a thought out loud are just a few of the “put downs” that may take place if you are dating a disinterested man who no longer has any regard for your feelings.

Lastly, a couple may find that their biggest red flag in a relationship is due to a severe escalation in their amount of arguments. Suddenly they fight about anything and everything, making it difficult to function as a couple. Fortunately, most couples do not resort to verbal or physical abuse, but many breakups occur due to too much arguing.

Couples drift, and this can cause their life ambitions to take off on divided paths, forcing them to leave a once valuable relationship behind. If your partner is being argumentative, try your best to open up the lines of communication. However, be prepared for a potentially disappointing response.

Warning signs in relationships are not always obvious, but when it is time for something to end, you will probably know it. Unfortunately many women act as if they do not know until things have escalated to such a point that leaving is a much more emotionally painful experience than what was probably necessary. Remember, you have value and love to give, and it is a shame to waste it on someone who is just going to throw it away.


Source : http://www.lifescript.com/life/relationships/hang-ups/how_to_spot_relationship_warning_signs.aspx    

Will He Cheat? 14 Red Flags You Can’t Ignore


Of course you trust your guy! He'd never cheat. Or would he? Men give off signals that they'll be unfaithful, relationship experts say. Find out the top 14 clues that your guy will cheat on you…

Recent studies reveal that 50%-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship (about 45%-55% of married women cheat).

And the women being cheated on? About 70% have no idea. Or maybe they just don’t want to know.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Men give off tons of hints that they’re inclined to cheat, relationship experts say.

For starters, there are the classic signs:

  • A sudden drop off in sex
  • Cash withdrawals or credit card charges you can’t account for
  • Working late a lot
  • New attention to his looks and wardrobe
  • An eagerness to run errands that get him out of the house for hours .   
But more subtle signs — certain personality quirks, his family dynamic and past relationships — also can clue you into whether a man’s more likely to cheat, even if he hasn’t yet.

“Any one sign won’t tell you that your man is cheating,” says Los Angeles family therapist and psychologist Leslie Seppinni, Psy.D. (aka Dr. Leslie).

But pay attention if you notice three or more signs, she says. They’re hints that he has pulled away from you and is moving toward someone else.

So how do you know if he’s likely to step out on you? Read on for 14 cheating tip-offs in a man’s personality, background and behavior.

1. He has a super-sized ego. In his eyes, he’s Superman and believes everyone else should think so too. Mental health pros call it narcissism.

“People with narcissistic personality traits feel that they’re entitled to more things than other people,” says Dennis Lin, M.D., assistant professor of psychiatry at Albert Einstein College of Medicine and director of the psycho-sexual medicine program at Beth Israel Medical Center in New York City.  


“They’re more likely to cheat because they feel they don’t have to play by the rules,” says Lin.

Such men are aggressive in their work and relationships, says New York City psychotherapist Michael Batshaw, author of 51 Things You Should Know Before Getting Engaged (Trade Paper Press).

“They always see things as power struggles – you’re a winner or a loser,” he says. Such a man would “get a thrill out of cheating because it’s a game and he’s winning.”

2. He has no sense of guilt.Men who don’t feel remorse or guilt when they do something wrong are prime candidates for cheating, Lin explains.

Why?

“They won’t have those emotions holding them back,” he says.

3. He’s an excellent liar.We don’t mean an occasional exaggeration about his golf handicap - or little “relationship-saving” fibs to the question, Do I look fat in this? 


“We’re talking about the more selfishly motivated lie to maintain appearances or avoid an unpleasant reaction,” explains Craig Malkin, Ph.D., a psychologist in Cambridge, Mass.

Most of us feel guilt or self-consciousness when we lie. Not this man.

“He doesn’t feel the sting that people normally feel,” Malkin says.

4. He’s a passion junkie.Some men just love the beginnings of relationships, when it’s all champagne, roses and stolen weekends of white-hot sex.

When the relationship naturally settles, ecstasy cools but intimacy deepens, and he may start jonesing for a new passion fix.

5. He has cheated before.Any therapist will tell you that past cheating behavior indicates an unfaithful future.

“More than one instance of infidelity is a really bad sign,” Malkin says.

6. He learned it at home.If one or both his parents were routinely unfaithful, your man may be more inclined to cheat – especially if his father was the skirt-chaser.


“Daddy was the first male role model, so when it comes to mirroring men’s behavior, he’ll end up [doing] what he saw in the house,” says New York City therapist Gilda Carle, Ph.D., author of Don’t Bet on the Prince and How to Win When Your Mate Cheats (downloadable at www.drgilda.com).

7. He lost his job.Don’t hit the panic button: His loss of a paycheck doesn’t necessarily signal an affair.

But unemployment puts strain on a marriage and can make a man feel vulnerable, especially if he had the job for decades and it defined his identity. He’ll be looking high and low for validation that he’s still worthwhile.

“When guys aren’t feeling so good about themselves, they may boost their self-esteem through an affair,” Batshaw says.

Plus, spending time with a woman who doesn’t demand anything of him can be an escape.

“He’s looking for a feel-good moment — someone who appreciates him and isn’t saying, Why haven’t you found a job?” Dr. Leslie says.

8. He had doubts about moving in or getting married.This is a biggie, says Maria Bustillos, author of Act Like a Gentleman, Think Like a Woman (Accidental Books). A man who is not entirely invested in a relationship is always looking for an exit, making him vulnerable to the temptations of infidelity.

“If some woman finds him attractive and busts a little move toward him, he may go for it because he wants out, whether he knows it or not,” she says. People often don’t leave without somebody else lined up. 


9. He’s not hanging out with you as much. You’re watching TV; he’s on the computer. You go to bed; he stays up late. Sound familiar? You’re in the same house but not really together.

“If a guy is organizing his life to spend less time with his partner, it doesn’t really matter whether he has met someone,” Malkin says. Such behavior signals a distance that’s “always a breeding ground for infidelity.”

10. Or he’s more attentive to you.A sudden shower of gifts, flowers, jewelry — and it’s not your birthday. Nice — or is it?

Maybe these are impulse buys because he’s a prince. It also could be a diversion or motivated by guilt. “If you’re happy, you won’t question him,” Dr. Leslie says. “Then, if he wants to go out with the guys,’” you’ll say OK. “But really he’s taking another girl out for a date,” she says.

Same goes if he’s suddenly calling and texting you frequently. Women believe that the more a man calls or texts, the less likely that he’s cheating.

But it's actually a preemptive strike, Dr. Leslie says. “All it means is that he’s giving you enough contact for you to believe he couldn’t possibly be with another woman.”


11. He stops cuddling in bed.Perhaps he doesn’t spoon you anymore. Or he comes to bed dressed for Antarctica when he once slept nude.

“Those are all ways of disconnecting and saying, I’m unavailable,” says Dr. Leslie.

12. His computer habits have changed. “Check your computer’s browser history once in a while to see where he’s been,” advises Dr. Leslie. “That’s how my girlfriend found out her husband was cheating.”

He was supposed to be looking for a job, but he was on dating sites instead, she says.

Another red flag: Separate, secret email accounts.

“The guy checks his mail and forgets to close the window of this different account,” Batshaw says. “You can see emails to someone you don’t know” and then his cheating becomes obvious.

A separate email account doesn’t necessarily scream, Affair! But your husband is probably keeping something from you, he says


13. His cell phone habits have changed.Two more red flags, according to relationship experts: a new “business” cell phone and more private texting and calls.

Many men think, What’s the best way for me to hide this from my wife?

“A cell phone that she can’t access with a pass-code lock because it has `sensitive business’ stuff on it,” Batshaw says.

Even without a new phone, his calling and texting patterns may have changed. Perhaps your husband now keeps his cell phone in his pocket when he once dropped it on the counter.

Maybe he used to make calls and send texts while you were around. Now? He excuses himself each time the phone beeps.

Another suspicious sign: He’s purposefully vague about people he's communicating with or shrugs it off as “work,” Batshaw says.

14. He has a “new drink.”A switch from Manhattans to martinis could just be a desire to get out of a cocktail rut. Or it might be a new habit picked up from another woman, says Dr. Leslie.

"It’s part of their ritual, something sexy that they’ve been doing with the other person.” Now they’re bringing it home, she says.
 
 
 
 
 
 


Oral Sex Turns Deadly

Despite a decline in most head and neck cancers during the past decade, the incidence of a particular form of throat cancer is rising steeply, according to a recent report in the British Medical Journal.

The greatest concern? The type of cancer identified is related to the human papilloma virus (HPV). Researchers say that sexual transmission of HPV may explain the rise in cases. If that’s true, then add throat cancer – in addition to cervical cancer – as a potentially deadly consequence of HPV infection.

Head and neck cancer is widespread around the world. There are about 640,000 new cases each year. The particular cancer of concern is esophageal squamous cell cancer, which is increasing only in the developed world. In the U.S., cases increased by 22% between 1999 and 2006 after being stagnant for the previous two decades. The United Kingdom has recorded a dramatic 51% increase in oro-pharyngeal cancer between 1989 and 2006. Much of it is attributed to a rise in HPV-related cancers.

Evidence for the HPV link can be found in biopsy studies of oro-pharyngeal cancers. HPV has been detected in 60%-80% of recent biopsy samples in a U.S. study compared with 40% in the previous decade. A Swedish study found a 70% rise in the detection of HPV biopsies since the 1970s.

The emergence of HPV-related oro-pharyngeal cancer is a relatively new phenomenon. Fortunately, it carries a better prognosis than non-HPV cancers, especially in non-smokers. It’s not understood why this cancer has improved survival.

Other studies have established that the risk of developing throat cancer is directly tied to the level of sexual activity. For example, the risk is increased in those with a history of six or more lifetime sexual partners, four or more lifetime oral sex partners, and for men, an earlier start of sexual intercourse.

The findings are likely to contribute to the debate over offering HPV vaccines to young men and boys. Two vaccines are currently available and approved for young women before they become sexually active – Cervarix and Gardsil, which can prevent HPV infection. Studies will now be needed to assess the cost-effectiveness of offering vaccines to boys.

HPV is the most common sexually transmitted disease, affecting more than 20 million people each year. More than 100 strains of HPV are known to exist, 30-40 of which are sexually transmitted. Virtually any skin to skin contact, oral, genital or anal can transmit the virus. Unless they develop skin or genital lesions, most infected individuals don’t know that they’re infected with the virus.

The virus is usually cleared by the immune system within 12-18 months and causes no further harm. But certain high-risk strains may not clear and cause precancerous lesions on the cervix. A Pap smear can detect these changes and can lead to early and effective treatment. The potential link to oral and throat cancers raises the issue of what kind of screening and immunizations programs are appropriate to prevent this latest form of the HPV scourge. 


Source : http://www.lifescript.com/blogs/ed_geehr/health/oral_sex_turns_deadly.aspx
# Edward C. Geehr

The 4 Smartest Things You Can Do Every Morning



Does this sound like you? You roll out of bed exhausted every morning. Your brain was going like gangbusters all night, keeping you awake with thoughts and plans about your business. Now you’re ready to execute—if you could just find the shirt you were planning to wear to that important client meeting. Where’s the address again? Uh-oh, your phone isn’t charged, so you go on the computer to look up the location. Next thing you know, you’re sucked into emails. You look up, still in your bathrobe, and an hour has passed. Where did the morning go? Now you’re going to be late—and your phone still isn’t charged.
Four simple morning habits can change you from a harried slob in a bathrobe to a paragon of productivity.

1. Check your to-do list.

You do have one, right? Okay, this habit really starts the night before, when you make a to-do list before going to bed. “Dumping” your to-do’s onto paper (or digital calendar) helps you clear your mind so you’ll sleep better (no worries about forgetting stuff).
Before you dive into your day, take a moment to glance at your schedule. If you’re like most small-business owners, your to-do list might have a dozen or more items on it. Figure out which are the must-do’s. These are typically things that involve other people (like travel, meetings or sales calls) or deliverables with firm deadlines (a big order has to ship today; a project is due). Unless you see a lot of down time, resist the urge to pack your to-do list with “just a few more things.” It’s important to leave some buffer time to deal with all the emergencies that inevitably come up when you’re running a small business.

2. Do something for yourself.

Whether it’s exercising, meditating or even just taking a really long, energizing shower, some type of activity that feeds you and centers you is a smart way to start the day. Any of these activities can help you get in touch with your subconscious—it’s amazing how solutions to problems that seemed insurmountable when you’re sitting at your desk can suddenly present themselves when you’re not thinking about them. (One of my business partners swears she gets most of her best ideas while running.)
I know—you barely have time to take a quick shower, much less take a long one, work out or meditate in the morning. All I’ll say is this: Everyone I know who makes time to do it says it pays off. Another colleague of mine skipped his morning workout for a week, trying to give himself an extra half an hour a day to work on a big project. He ended up wasting more than half an hour a day because he hit the 3:00 slump every afternoon and was no use to anyone.

3. Have a routine.

I’m not the most organized person, but I’ve observed a lot of people who are, and they have one thing in common: a routine. Hey, it’s morning, your coffee hasn’t kicked in yet, you’re not thinking totally clearly and you need to get things done without really thinking about them. Having a routine helps you auto-pilot yourself through the basic tasks of the morning (what to eat, what to wear) before you really dig into the tough stuff.
President Obama famously told Vanity Fair he only wears blue or gray suits. Why? It saves time and energy—instead of making decisions about what to wear and what tie goes with what, he saves his brainpower for important decisions. Routinizing your morning can help you be more productive, too.

4. Start with something big … or small.

There are two schools of thought about getting started on your to-do list in the morning. One approach says start with the biggest, most important must-do of the day. The other advises you to start with a few quick tasks you can quickly check off your list to gain a feeling of accomplishment.
Personally, I like to mix it up depending on how I feel that morning. No matter how I’m feeling, I start my day with my email (ignoring the “rules” of time management). If I feel gung-ho and ready to go, then I tackle something big, putting aside distractions (phone calls, Twitter) for at least an hour while I work on it. If I’m feeling slackerish and need a nudge, I move on to some easy to-do’s—maybe updating my calendar, proofreading an article or sending a followup email to a prospect. That gives me the push I need to keep moving on to bigger things.

10 Habits That Let You Meet Women


Starting from  No.10 -
No.10 Plan your weekend social activities mid-week

Regardless of whatever proactive habits you have, meeting people requires you to get out into the world once in a while. When you do, It's better to be out with friends than out by yourself. That said, it sometimes takes real effort to get a routine-bound group of friends to do anything different or to get a lazy group of friends to do anything at all. Get people involved early in the week instead of waiting until the last minute.


No.9 Sign up for classes

Whether you're pursuing a degree, going to classes because they'll help your career,  just interested in learning something new, or developing a skill, taking a class gives you an unparalleled opportunity for social interaction. Interaction is often mandatory; in fact, and you'll never have a better excuse for talking to someone than if you and she are literally required to critique each others' analysis of Whistler's Symphony in White.

No.8 Hit the gym

Just to make this point again: The goal here is not to stroll up and hit on someone mid-workout. That's tactless, and it sends the wrong message. But going to the gym puts you in a situation where you're pursuing an admirable goal (physical fitness) in a visible way (visible without conspicuously preening and flexing and trying to stand out -- anyone who's interested can already see you, buddy). The rosters for classes at a typical gym are almost always primarily female.


No.7 Remember stories/discussions that resonate


Most of us have at least a few go-to stories, ones we've told plenty of times knowing that they're exciting and likely to provoke the desired reaction. These are useful, because they take some of the pressure off what could be an awkward conversation, and they give you the chance to watch and react to your audience. Expand that inventory when you can. Always stay open to new stories or even just engaging discussions to file next to your "Lost in Vegas" and "Attacked by Bears" classics.

No.6 Introduce yourself

Figuring out the right time to introduce yourself depends on the situation. Ideally, you should be responding to some kind of acknowledgment from the woman (typically eye contact), and you probably shouldn't walk up and interrupt her when she's in the middle of something. But when you do, the important thing is to strike a balance between confidence and relaxation -- smiling, self-assured but not pushy. If this part is hard for you, well, that's why it's a habit you should start working on. It gets easier with practice.


No.5 Groom

Part of the motivation for this list is that meeting women can and does happen just about anywhere. You never know where and when you're going to run into someone absolutely stunning, but you'd better believe it'll happen on the one morning you skip your shower and stagger to work looking like a grungy failure. Taking care of your appearance shouldn't be something you only bother with when you're going out; it should be an indispensable part of your routine.

No.4 Use dating sites and social media to fill up your calendar


One of the most significant roadblocks to a vibrant social life is falling prey to regularity and routine; you're not meeting as many people as you could if you do the same thing every night and every weekend. It's important to branch out and do new things when you can. Facebook is instrumental in letting people publicize parties, shows and events, but don't stop there; something as simple as meeting up with people through Foursquare can be rewarding, and dating sites like OkCupid and Zoosk are surprisingly viable options.


No.3 Offer help and be courteous

We're not trying to suggest that holding the door for someone with an armload of groceries or giving up your seat on the bus to an old lady is a way to meet women, and besides, it hopefully doesn't take the lure of sex to convince you to be a gentleman. But keep in mind that not doing those things is a pretty good way to look like an ass. And if it does take the thought of social repercussions to convince you to act like a decent guy, then consider that a beautiful woman could be watching every time you don't tip a waitress or cut off a driver.

No.2 Find causes you care about and volunteer

It's important for you to actually care about whatever cause you decide to champion (although you really can't go wrong with anything that involves animals). Spending your time in service of some greater goal demonstrates that you're a decent human being, and on top of that, passion is an attractive quality. Just be genuine here, and don't pick some cause you're ambivalent about. Faking concern over social issues so you can pick up women isn't a plan that should cross a healthy mind.


No.1 Never hesitate

The rest of this list is pretty useless if you're afraid to seize the opportunities you're presented with. When you've got the chance to get to know someone -- or if you've already gotten to know her, and you want the relationship to develop into something more -- you can't  expect her to do the hard part for you. Confidence is like any other personality trait; you can improve it by working at it, and if you don't, you're not just going to spontaneously grow some confidence someday. Take initiative, and don't waste the opportunities you get.

Life Stye


Lifestyle is expressed in both work and leisure behavior patterns and (on an individual basis) in activities, attitudes, interests, opinions, values, and allocation of income. It also reflects people's self image or self concept; the way they see themselves and believe they are seen by the others. Lifestyle is a composite of motivations, needs, and wants and is influenced by factors such as culture, family, reference groups, and social class.